first day in Kiarong Branch

as my topic said..its my first day :)
for almost 3 years im working in a shift branches.. Mall n Supasave ..well now im giving myself a try woking under office hrs and infact,its a main office of Baiduri Bank.
i dun want to say anyting at first..lets probation myself to get along with the team and the environment.
but so far, everything went good pulanggg...being a senior teller is good anyway! i just hope that this good feelings wont change to opposite one.

i once set up my mind with all negativity and ever deceiving myself i CANNOT without even trying and in the end..im da one who suffered.
now i re-aim to show the best i can and give extra effort on my job and promise to do dis for myself based on my experience as well as to learn more for my own knowledge so dat it'll b benefit for everybody...NOT to show off nor taking advantage on my superiors.
i wana walk for my future by myself..a good path! i wanna be somebody one day..i hope!
BUT pls..(to me), dont give up so fast! love urself for those u love..

sighhh.....

-just another day in hell-

in between of job issues and self-conditioned, it took me this long to write. .for reasons i dont realy want to talk about, anyway everytime i made a first start i wud took a deep sigh and hesitate to post.
now again m trying,

after some meditation, i realized that tears are the best way to cure compare to any pills given. it completely makes me weak until i manage to sleep again. its four nights now that ive got an insomnia, mentally disorder n hypertension. Sure, I was hurt to the point of desperation but i wasn't about to spend the rest of my life wallowing in misery. There was more to life than this senseless. i belief! this just aint me- im not a brokenhearted...

and you know what...im tired of this depression..in fact I HATE IT.people say to me, why can't you just be happy?? i just think "do u think i want to be like this?? do u think if i could be happy i would?? nobody can be happy at the snap of finger!!" you see!
like it or not, i MUST make a choice to end this pain. i survived most of my years on earth so i dont want to fall at this time. Why would I waste my time and effort on something that in the end is still NIL?
there are always moments that i thought i cn never go on anymore.

you problaby have no idea what its like to be depressed .thats y i have to cry myself to sleep every night.


tetty

FRIENDS

Friendship isn't always easily described.Unfortunately, the English language isn't quite as innovative, though it has vast opportunities to differentiate meaning.
Certainly, Love is one of those opportunities. And so, too, is Friendship.
Instead of different words,

however, we're stuck with simple adjectives. Close friend. Best friend. Childhood friend. Intimate friend. Trusted friend. Beloved friend. But whether you use adjectives or different words, few could deny the nearly infinite meaning in such a simple word.

Friends are special people. We can't pick our family, and we're sorely limited in the number of them at any rate. Society and mores (and often our own conscience) dictate we select a single mate. But our friends can be as diverse and infinite as the adjectives we choose. Our friends, in a very real sense, reflect the choices we make in life.

MemOrieS of KL..w/ tHe faMily

the LOST of our Lovely Gradma, Hjh Kamsiah Belaman

dtd 16-June-2009
Day: tuesday
time: 7.10pm

*Al-fathihah* for my late grandma who has passed away yesterday in RIPAS hospital.
semoga arwah dicucuri rahmat & ditempatkan dgn org2 yang beriman... AMIN...


************
tomoro is our family trip to KL.. the ticket has been bought since March inclusive hotel and driver is booked.
last night when we tried to chek online (maybe i can postpond d date) but sadly, changes could only be made within 48hrs.so now we're between the war of 'take it or leave it'...
im now in confusion...

Nana's 6th Birthday.. (friday)

RanDomZZ reCentLy mE-uS-tHem

Was away for so long..i noticed ;) but room's updated!!!

udada's


anim's helping *giggles*

-------------------------------------------------------


Mine

*image of Dearest kak long*

by Me originally ;)

happybirthdayme.com

happybirthdayme.com

HaPpY BirThDaY ME!! :)) May,1st

as may 1st hits,
from a baby she turned to a sweet little girl..and from a sweet girl she grown up n be a lady who absolutely have a big dreams... always a big one :)
She thanked to everybody who greets her either thru sms, email and especially fb.
she thanked her other half as well and her bff for being there 'pecel-ling' during the countdown moment :)
she appreciated god, for giving this life such a bliss. how cud she asks for more?
she wud ask for nothing but only to maintain those happy time and not to loose em.
she even cherished those sadness moment she had been thru all along because it makes her stronger and stand up to fight for it.
she hopes she'll always be here standing still. not to give up.. not to care watever mouth wud like to say.
to my family... thank you for everything.for the concerned that i slowly understand instead of rebelling *hehe*
ayah,ma, abg, kaklong, udada and adeq... two thumbs up and a big hug for each of u .
may on my special day, good thing wud keep on coming and and bad thing wud starts to go..

truly,
her voice within
xoxo

ME SUPASAVE CROWDS..

*thanks loads guys.. u make my day..

i thought i wont be happy being part of dis family but totally m wrong..*loves*

sometimes i wonder watelse do i still need in life? apart from understanding from certain people, that i clearly know could not be avoided :) ..
do i still aim for more.. ? i dont know..
at the moment my hope is only one. forget abt SLR Camera.. i dont really need it now hence, i deleted it already fr my wishlist.
my hope.. its.. yeah.. to come back to where i belong. i feel home 'there'.. i can feel the spirit 'there' ..
wish i can turn back time. until the day really happen.. then i can breath easily.
everyday when i step into the place i still cant feel, its actually my new place. i dont feel please to be here. its not abt ppl surrounding me... just i dont feel like home here.

apart from that.. i couldnt ask for more. because im happy with the rest that i have now.
being even-not-so-independent is enough though. as long as the lips still can curve on my face.. i ought to move on.
everyday i just hope im able to end the whole day with smiles and i can proceed to the next :)
*thats my only way to move on n try by hard to forget that 'one' hope which i really cant reach.. sadly**

Vacay...Vacay..

HAPPY BIRTHDAY BUTTER 30.o3.09

(on the right)

Butts... Kaka is really sorry about justnow.hehe
cretanya cemani.. tadi dimall, aku tejumpa c-butter..
creta2 lah macm biasa lyk nothing happen.. we hugged n kissed etc
TAPI aku langsung lupa its actually her birthday that i am suppose to greet her instead of talking craps.
right after i reached home.. online then ada nick c par ani "happy birthday butter"
i was like SHIT!!! How could i forgot hers :s
straight away i msg her n said sorry..really apology
LUCKILY butts replied "its ok, im happy to c u pun sdh...i want u to owez b happy" :')
*Hugs c Butter*

sorry butts ah.. i didn mean not to remember. ive set my mind earlier but when the day arrives i totally forgot. m so sorryyy...
and again,

**happy 21st birthday Filah aka Butter**

may god bless you

what u want on ur birthday?

ehhehe

-some shots taken during the occassion-